just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
