We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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