just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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