Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
