Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
