i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
