apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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