based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize