I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
