girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
