I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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