im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
