In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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