I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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