It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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