I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think I won the penis lottery.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
