I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
