Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize