Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
