i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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