This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
