never play flip cup with pint glasses
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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