I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
