just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
