plz talk dirty to me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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