Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
