I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
