Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
