you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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