Just cropdusted the office
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
