Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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