I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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