So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
