so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize