mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
