My room smells like vodka and shame
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
