Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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