If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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