He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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