Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
too bad you live with your parents still
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
