yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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