New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
