I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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