Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cockslap morals
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
