I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
