Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
