I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
