I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
