it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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