I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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