what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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