this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
