I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
