Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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