your thong is hanging out like whoa
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
