kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
