I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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