I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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