White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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