Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize