I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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