Where is the hickey?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
