And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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